Little Girl Lost

In my role as psychic medium, I’ve helped a lot of people in a lot of different ways. I provide connection to our beloved dead, as well and as often as I can. I provide guidance and clarity via our spirits, as best I can. I visit people’s homes and businesses to offer group sessions, where the healing and laughter is just as prevalent there as it is in individual sessions.

What I don’t do a lot of is hunt for ghosts.

While I don’t have as much experience with spiritual house clearing as my husband does, I am familiar with the “ecosystem” of homes. I understand that what many people would consider hauntings could be many different phenomena. Houses can indeed be haunted by the spirit of a person who lived or died there, who are unable or unwilling to pass on. Houses, especially old houses with a lot of organic materials like wood and stone, can hold onto the spiritual and emotional vibrations of people who lived there, and those energies can echo back out across time.

Homes can even be built, by no fault of their builders, on top of land where they shouldn’t be. This could be for a variety of reasons, such as a significant amount of quartz in the bedrock beneath the home, to homes sitting on wet land. Water, for all its life-giving attributes, seems to be a medium for spirits and I’ve even sensed how homes that sit atop crisscrossing veins of water underground seem to hold onto spiritual energies, or amplify them.

What I also understand about spiritual ecology, is that just as it would be difficult for me to grasp the entirety of how complex the physical world is, I cannot also feign to know the complexity of the spirit world. While I do think actual disembodied spirits wandering around as ghosts are rare, I do believe it’s something that happens. As we would be arrogant to think that we are the only planet with life on it in the Universe, it would also be arrogant to think that we are the only spirits that move onto the spirit world, or wherever it is that we go. I am fundamentally an “animist,” meaning that I believe everything in creation has some form of spirit to it, from mountains to rivers to lakes to animals and trees. As such, I believe that we have the capacity to interface with these spirits, and yet I don’t know what that actually looks like completely.

If anything, I’m still learning.

A while ago, I was reached out to by a gentleman a bit south of us here in New Hampshire who had heard of my name from someone. There was a house he was interested in buying and he, along with other members of his family, had experiences there. He sent me along his accounting that he shared on Reddit so I could get caught up to speed: 

“My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to live in the town that I work in, called Warren. It’s a small town and word had gotten around that we were in the market. One of my boss’s reached out to her friends, an older couple named A+J, who own two weekend houses in Warren and one week later I got an email from A+J.

They were super friendly and encouraged us to meet them at one of their weekend houses.
(Turns out that A+J bought my childhood home, because they owned 40 acres of land behind it. They gutted and renovated the house and cleaned the basement.)

They did a beautiful job and the house is immaculate, furnished, and ready to move in. We toured the house together and A+J explained that they did not use the house and their family did not love the house but they had no rush or need to sell it. A+J encouraged us to spend a night, a weekend, or even a week. At the house. We thought that was nice, but a little strange for them to be so adamant.

One month later, we took them up on their offer and went on Friday evening with plans to stay 2 nights - SPOILER ALERT - we did NOT stay both nights.

We set up in the living room and put in a movie. Like I mentioned this place was furnished even with a few classic DVDs. We snuggled on the couch and I quickly fell asleep. She woke me up before going to the bathroom, I waited in the living. She came back quickly, we got comfortable and again, I fell asleep. She woke me up again and asked to go to bed. I said yes.

Unbeknownst to me, my girlfriend, K, felt uncomfortable from the windows on the back side of the house. So much so that she did not wash her hands in the bathroom and rushed back to me because she was so uncomfortable. She asked to go to bed because she felt as if there was someone watching us from the window.

We got into the bedroom and crawled into bed. Again, almost immediately I fall asleep. Typically she falls asleep first. At this point it was 11:00PM - for nearly 2 hours, K says she tossed and turned and felt like every time she closed her eyes, someone was watching her. Close to 1:00AM she woke me up and explained she didn’t know what was going on and couldn’t really describe what she was feeling besides abnormal & uncomfortable. I agreed to stay awake until she fell asleep but needed to use the bathroom first.
—this is where things start to get weird—

I did not feel anything weird, at all, but this is what she described.

I get up and walk up two stairs to the hallway, leaving the door open. From the bed, K, can see me walk down the hall - she takes her eyes off of me for a second - when she looks back she sees what she describes as a little girl wearing a white dress, not see through, with very distinct facial features.
As I turned into the bathroom, the girl turned, and made eye contact with K, and followed me into the bathroom. K literally thought I was never coming back, she couldn’t scream, and certainly did not believe what she saw.

*prior to this she did not believe in ghosts and would’ve thought you were crazy if you told this story.
I returned from the bathroom and K was acting so strange. She begged me to tell her a story, anything she pleaded. I agreed and told a few stories, but I started to realize something was really weird about the way K was acting and listening. She kept asking me to tell stories and not stop talking. Finally, a little annoyed, I asked what was wrong.....

2:00 AM “you’re going to think I’m crazy because I think I’m crazy but I saw a little girl”

She tells me about the encounter, the little girl in the white dress, the turn into the bathroom, and a distinct face that she will never forget, she says.

I immediately suggested leaving...I remembered as a kid, my mother saying something about our dog and a little girl ghost. I knew that K was not mistaken and that she really, likely saw something - the same thing my mom mentioned over 8 years ago.

I don’t mention this to K at the time because I know she would freak out and it was 2:00 AM. Eventually, closer to 3 or 4 in the morning we both fall asleep and wake up in the daylight. We quickly pack up our night bag and get out of there.

There’s no cell service at the house or in the Town, but as soon as I got out of sight of the house, I told K what I remembered my mom saying. Once we got into service, I texted her. I’ll never forget her reply and the sheer terror that we felt as the hairs stood up on our bodies. My mom replied, a little girl wearing a white dress.

Facts: 1)My mom did not know we were looking at or staying in the house. 2)A little girl who lived in the house, prior to my family's purchase in 2006, drowned in a nearby river at age 10 in 1997. K described the girl as looking about 8. 3) A+J have a granddaughter who refuses to stay there and calls it “Creepy Grandma’s House”

Holy cow, it sketches me out just thinking about it. How come I felt nothing and K had an almost confirmed sighting?”

While it’s important to take this fellow’s account, and his subsequent recounted accounts, of what happened into consideration, I always walk into situations with a blind eye. This means, while I am taking their account into consideration, I want to see and feel what I can, as best I can, with as little input as possible. This is how I go about my readings, starting with a blank slate. I try to stay as unbiased or impartial as I can. I do not want to reinforce nor negate anyone’s assumptions about their own spiritual lives and ecosystems of which they’re a part.

And while I bring up ecosystems, I am a believer of them in both the physical and spiritual sense. I have not seen very many TV ghost hunters or psychics, as I feel most of the methods they utilize are too intrusive. If not intrusive, they certainly place themselves at the pinnacle of the pyramid, and not amongst all the spirits and living creatures of which they’re a part. No matter what we do, whether on a physical or spiritual plane, we’re casting stones into a pond and we don’t always know what the ripples we create will cause.

This fellow and I agreed on a day and time for me to go check it out. Once we set a time, I gave it no thought and had trust that my helping spirits would show me how I should proceed. As we are all part of an ecosystem, both physical and spiritual, we are also always in constant relation with those around us. What we do, no matter how small, has an effect somewhere else in the pond we’re in. As we are held and supported in so many ways in this physical life, we are held and supported in the spiritual world. Unfortunately for most of us, we take these helping hands for granted. 

Think of the clothes you’re wearing, the device you’re reading this on, the last meal you ate or the last coffee you drank - not only were those things created with resources given to us by the Earth, but they were also all handled and manipulated by other humans to get them to you. I am a firm believer that as we are held and supported in this life by others, so are we in the spirit world, and most especially by our ancestors. The reason I bring this up is that I gave this haunting no thought until the day came for me to go check it out, and I didn’t do this out of arrogance - I did this out of trust for my helping spirits and ancestors. 

They've led me this far, I have faith they will also keep me safe and lead me to where I need to go.
With that said, the day came to visit and during the day, I just had to get myself some Werther’s Originals. I hadn’t had a Werther’s in years, though something was nagging me and nagging me to go get them, so I went to the local grocery store and bought a bag. I had no idea what they were for until I brought them. I also brought my husband, Isaac, along. He’s a shamanic practitioner with many more years of experience than me and I knew between the two of us, we could get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

When we arrived at the home and met this fellow and his fiance, we were taken back by the beauty of where the home sat. New Hampshire is beloved by many for its natural beauty and formations and where this house sat was no exception. In the state, one can find rivers carving their way through mountains, riddled with boulders and hugged by forests. This is exactly where the house sat, with one interesting feature. It sat right next to a bridge, and the river bordered the house by only a few dozen yards. The bridge going over the river created a natural crossroads, a liminal place where traditionally spirit is known to linger. 

Isaac is known to carry a bundle of tools and implements during his house-cleansing tasks and he brought them along. This is a series of candles, incense, and other devices that help with clearing space. When we arrived, we quickly made introductions and were led into the house...where as soon as we stepped inside, we were confronted with one of the creepiest sights I’d seen yet.

A table full of ceramic friars, all creepily smiling and staring into the distance.

In my limited experience, I find that this is a huge no-no. Spirits, especially those with less-than-noble intentions, are led to masks and things with faces. I can’t tell you why, but they certainly like them. As this couple was ultimately interested in buying this house, we had to bring it up to them that the ceramic friars (of which you should see a picture of at the top of this blog) just had to go, preferably into storage.

Within moments we had encountered several factors that would contribute to a haunting: lots of water, a crossroads, and several very creepy ceramic friars.

Isaac and I set about doing our things. While he’s not necessarily a medium to the degree I am, he has incredible intuition and his own kind of spiritual communication abilities. My immediate sense, as soon as I pulled into the driveway, was that no one was in immediate danger. In fact, quite the opposite. The feeling I got at this house, and I’m not sure if I was picking up on the ghost of this little girl or not, was abject loneliness.

I believe this spirit, however she existed, just wanted companionship.

I normally bring a mixture of flowers for offerings, pretty much wherever I go. It’s a mixture of jasmine, lavender, and rose petals and it smells lovely. I find it a perfect offering to spirits of the land, my ancestors, and any larger helping spirits I work with. It’s pleasant, it’s fragrant, it’s colorful, and it comes from the Earth - not much more I could ask for, and I find it preferable to the traditional use of tobacco. I had this offering in hand, along with my Werther’s, and Isaac had his bag of tools.

I can’t say that I communicated with the spirit of this girl during this visit, yet I just came to know things during my time at this house, just like I come to know things during my readings. I knew that for whatever reason, the house itself wasn’t haunted...but the river. It was also my guess that this girl found the energy to appear to both this fellow’s fiance and his mother, not only because she was close to the water but that she was also looking for a mother figure. There’s also a good indication that both the fiance and the mother, perhaps due to their innate femininity, could sense spirits better than this man. It’s called feminine intuition for a reason.

It’s interesting because in my mind’s eye, I see the spirit world as layers of existence. I call our ancestors and loved ones our “umbrellas” often because in my mind’s eye they’re like rays of color that hover over our heads. Over these umbrellas are other umbrellas, spirits that were once human and have grown stronger and larger, as well as spirits that were never human but have benevolence and compassion towards us.

Whenever I get the sense of someone dying or passing away, it always feels like someone falling backward in their chair, and then the “umbrellas” or whoever is with them, catch them. That’s the best way I can describe it. I believe this is what happens normally, with our umbrellas, our ancestors and loving spirits, “catching” us as we fall into death, helping us to adjust and acclimate to our new (old?) spiritual existence. 

I wondered while I was there that this girl had no one to catch her. My best guess is that her death, her drowning, was so traumatic that she couldn’t be caught. There may be more to it than this, but that’s my best guess. It also very much felt like she was hiding from us while we were there. Sometimes spirits can go to a plane of existence where it’s just them (think frequency on a radio dial) and become afraid to move up or down the dial, as the case may be.

In cases like this, I know that I am in constant contact with my helping spirits. Again, relying on the fact that it’s more than just me and I have an excellent team at my back, I reached out to them...so they could reach out to her. Isaac had set up some candles and was doing his work, inviting any wayward spirits who would have problems moving on to the appropriate frequency to do so. We were both working with our spirits to help any of the spirits in the surrounding area to move on, should they want to.

A river like this one, with hundreds of years of history, surely has more deaths to claim than just this little girl’s. And while it felt like she was hiding from us, it also felt like she had company, on whatever station she was on the dial. And if she was hiding, it very well could have been this company she kept that wanted to keep her around, to not expose her to us and what we were there to do.

And while we were moving around the property, I was leaving offerings of Werther’s Originals. I just knew these candies would appeal to her and I wanted her to know that we came as friends, not enemies. I left some on the rocks out in back of the house, I tossed some in the river along with some of my rose, jasmine, and lavender offerings. Instead of directly trying to communicate with her, I asked my spirits to help communicate with her, in a circuit type of way. That’s the best way I can go about it - imagine someone who has died a traumatic death, or anyone in general who has undergone trauma, and understand that approaching them must be done with compassion and care. Really, in an ideal world, everyone living and dead should be approached with compassion and care. I didn’t want to force her further into the water, if you will, where she would hide until she felt it appropriate to reach out for that motherly care she was seeking.

And that’s ultimately what she was seeking - her mom, or a woman who could stand in the place of her mother. That’s why she only appeared to this fellow’s mom and fiance. Both Isaac and I asked our helping spirits to help this girl find peace, and I believe we have.

We left the house, telling both this fellow and his fiance, that they had nothing to worry about. I explained the above to them, and told them to keep Werther’s Originals on hand. I felt like we had been successful, or that what we had done was going to be successful, and yet we must always look at the alternatives. I can tell you that what I do and what I experience is nothing like what Hollywood has to offer. I explained to them that they should be more than fine to purchase the home, and if they were to have any other issues, to reach back out to us. I also explained, especially to the fiance, that if she were to have any sort of encounters again, to know they were just from a lonely soul, not one that meant her harm.

And she did indicate she didn’t feel any danger or malice from this little girl, and that she was afraid because what she experienced was so out of the ordinary. The more and more we interact with the spirit world, the more we come to realize that it does indeed overlap with ours, influencing us and others as we go about our physical lives.

Sometimes, those lives can end in such a traumatic way, it alters the natural order of existence. 

Sometimes, little girls become lost.

And I’m so honored that I may play a part in leading them back home.