Those Who Came Before

Many of you who have followed my journey are familiar with my story, and how I found my path as a psychic medium. My journey began with a DNA test gifted to me by my husband on Christmas 2016. Prior to that DNA test, I only knew one grandparent; this was my grandmother Edith, my mother’s mother. She had family from Canada and she affectionately referred to herself as a “stinking Frenchman” - at that time she had no idea of her genetic heritage, and as we live about an hour south of the Canadian border in New England, it’s an easy assumption to make that we have a significant amount of French ancestry.

I found that I actually don’t have that much French DNA. I found that I had, as did my grandmother, a significant amount of British, Scottish, and Irish ancestry. There were other pieces in my ancestry that fascinated me and intrigued me that I decided to dive into researching my genealogy and ancestry via Ancestry.com. Working with a platform or service that helps you discover your family trees is something I can’t recommend enough, as you’ll discover stories, history, and pictures of family members you never knew existed.

I do credit discovering my ancestors with the discovery of my abilities as a psychic medium. It was my ancestry research and connecting with the names and faces of those who come before me that helped me discover and honor these gifts within me. This is where connecting with our ancestors and those who came before us offers incredible power. Connecting with our ancestors and their stories helps us in very significant ways with honoring the gifts and attributes that come directly from them, to live the best life we can possibly live.

I’ll give you an example. Both my parents came from farming families in the rural northern reaches of New Hampshire. I did know my mother’s parents, her father passing away when I was 19, and my grandmother passing away just a few years ago. My father’s mother passed away when I was 2 years old, and my father’s father passed away when he was just 8 years old. 

Most of us here have farmers in our lineage. In fact, throughout the entirety of human history, it’s impossible to not come from people who worked with agriculture, whether on a large scale or just in their backyard. I knew, growing up as I did in a lower-middle-class rural town, that farming was tough. My parents didn’t farm other than a small backyard operation, though I knew their lives growing up were incredibly difficult. In fact, my father and I shouldn’t even really be here. 

My mom was the youngest of four kids, my father the youngest of six. My father was born when his mother was 47 and his father was 52...in 1958. To me, this is miraculous - even today, with all of our advancements in health and medicine, for a woman to have a child at 47 is a wondrous feat. This in and of itself is an incredible story of both their health and vitality, but also of the farming life that required families to have large amounts of children. I knew my father’s father was in WWII and that was it. I literally knew nothing about my great-grandparents or where they came from. My grandmother would tell me stories of her parents, but she herself lost her mother when she was only 3, raised by her father from then on.

As I was researching my ancestry, I discovered so many stories and facts about my lines. For instance, I found out that my father’s grandfather participated in WWI and WWII. He went through one World War, all while having a farm in Dalton, New Hampshire with a wife and children left behind to take care of them...he then signed up for WWII and served with his son.

It doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter your opinion on the United States military or their roles in wars throughout history - this is an incredible story. 

And it was these stories that really and truly blew my mind. I can remember stories of my father, who lost his father at 8 years old to a farming accident, living with his mother and sister in their old farmhouse. My father’s older brothers had moved on in life, having families, jobs, and joining the military. My father would tell me stories of it being so cold in their house that the water in their toilet and tea kettle would be frozen when they woke up in the morning. 

We are all here because we come from strong people. That doesn’t mean we come from noble, moral, ethical, or even good people, though most of us do; it means they were strong. And learning of their struggles, their pains, their fights helps us understand and appreciate the world we live in, but it also helps us appreciate the attributes and gifts we have that come down from us. Not only do their gifts and attributes live on within us, but their strength does also.

Not only does this strength live within you, but so many other pieces of your ancestors also live within you. Perhaps you have an inclination towards music or art...maybe you love horses or the ocean. Maybe you can connect these urges or proclivities to a particular ancestor, maybe you cannot. I believe there are many pieces within us that we can attribute to ancestors and loved ones. Working with our ancestors, learning their history and stories, helps us to honor those pieces within us. 

As humans within this modern world, we all have self-esteem issues. I believe we can work through a lot of them by honoring and learning from our ancestors. When I connected with my abilities as a psychic medium, they frightened me and I drew back from them, as we do with things in life that frighten us. Then, through my work with my ancestors, I realized those gifts, as well as my other attributes, come from my ancestors.

I realized quickly that if I didn’t honor them and embrace them to help my family, my community, and the world at large, I was going to dishonor my ancestors...and I would not live a life of doing that. I think of the hundreds and thousands of ancestors who struggled and fought to get me to this day and I am overcome by their struggles. If I were to live a self-centered life, if I were to live a life of selfishness, I would dishonor those who came before me and the struggles they went through to make sure I saw this day.

And so I choose to honor my ancestors and their lives, their struggles and their victories. Here are some ways that you can honor your ancestors and beloved dead:

~ Build an Ancestor Altar - I have two ancestor altars, one in my workspace and one at home. I have pictures of my loved ones, the heirlooms I’ve inherited, even a large quartz rock that came out of the brook behind my grandmother’s house. Set up a place where you can honor and show love for your ancestors, as well as receive any love and healing energy they want to send your way.

~ Make them offerings - Our ancestors love food, drink, candles, incense, freshwater, flowers, and so many other gifts. Not only do they take sustenance from these gestures, they mean a lot to them as you set aside time to honor them. As you are here, taking sustenance and delight from this world to whatever extent, so do your loved ones and ancestors deserve the chance to do the same from the Other Side.

~ Cook for them - Do you have a favorite dish that your Grandmother or Grandfather made? Do you have a particular food connected to your heritage? Make some and set a plate on their altar, showing them the love and gratitude you have for them.

~ Make art for them - Our ancestors and helping spirits, while powerful and aware of our world and how we move through it, lack the hands we do. They love it when we take the time to make them gifts, and perhaps even sing them songs. It shows we love them and honor them through our acts of creation.

~ Do something noble - Our ancestors struggled through their lives, most of them hoping that we wouldn’t suffer and that we would live lives of honor and integrity. Take time to volunteer, donate your time, or help those who need it more than you do. When you perform acts of service and kindness in their name, not only are they proud of you, it shows them that you take their legacy seriously. 

~ Make amends - There seems to be nothing more important than the Four Pillars of a Life Well-lived, at least to our ancestors and helping spirits. (See my blog here about the Four Pillars.) It seems that’s indeed why we’re here, if I had to guess. Is there a way that you can cultivate peace and joy in your life, along with love and togetherness? Is there someone in your life, a family member or friend, who you would regret not making amends with, saying an apology to, if they were to pass away tomorrow? Bring peace into this world and don’t waste a single day on petty matters of the heart. 

~ Pick up the phone - Make time to find stillness with your ancestors and loved ones, whether it’s in front of an altar or their final resting place at the cemetery. Our ancestors and loved ones become “umbrellas” (see my blog here at “umbrellas”) who lend us guidance and healing, as much as they’re able. If our lives are so hectic and chaotic that we don’t make time to sit and pick up their “phone line,” it makes their job harder. Sit in stillness, ask them for guidance, and be open to any feelings, sensations, and impressions that may come through. They love you and only want you to be well.

Our ancestors and loving spirits are with us always. It’s important that we make time to honor them, to sit with them, and to lead lives they may be proud of. Provide them thanks, keep them in your heart, and ask them for strength. 

They do not want to see you suffer. Indeed, they want the opposite for you. Make space for them in your home, and in your heart. Ask them for guidance, strength, and wisdom.

They’re there for you.