Drained Dry: on Energy Vampires

Vampires walk among us.

This is a truth that I’ve only come to realize in the past few years, and all of it has centered around my work as a psychic medium. 

When I say vampires, I don’t mean the classic, blood-sucking vampires of Hollywood. I am speaking of “Energy Vampires” and how they exist in this world with us, and how they drain many of us. Please understand that what I’m about to share with you here is a result of my work as a psychic medium and someone who senses the energy of those I work with. I’ll make some assumptions here but again, it’s all a result of what I’ve picked up on over the course of these years. I bring this information with the hopes that people can manage and minimize these reactions and reduce the damage they can cause.

Before I define what an “Energy Vampire” is, I’d like to cover some basics of our energetic bodies and how these relationships can develop. All living creatures, including humans, emit a bio-electromagnetic field many call an “aura.” Each person emits these auras or energy fields, and I have found that everyone’s energy seems to vibrate at individual frequencies. I like to think that everyone has a “radio station” of sorts, or a frequency all their own.

These frequencies are energetic fields that can be measured and documented scientifically, and we see how the world is shifting toward accepting these unseen truths with the presence of Reiki practitioners in hospitals. Reiki, if you’re unfamiliar with it, is the Japanese version of “energy healing.” Any human culture that acknowledges the energy body would have members of that culture that can work with it, be those individuals shamans, medicine men/women, etc.

In this bio-electromagnetic field, and more specifically in our bodies, we have smaller energy centers. These energy centers exist in our bodies as chakras. Chakras, Sanskrit for “wheel”, are energy centers that are responsible for certain functions, and are our link between our energetic and physical bodies and the Universal energy that permeates all of creation. While chakras are mainly a Hindu concept, we find the idea of physical energy centers in many cultures. I’ll be referencing some of these energy centers as I discuss how Energy Vampires can affect these chakras.

By my definition, an Energy Vampire is someone with whom you come into relation (sometimes platonic, most often romantic) who incites a negative emotional reaction in you. These emotional reactions can be anger, lust, jealousy, rage, fear, worry, etc. After feeling these emotions, you’ll feel drained or depleted.

While the relationships I’m speaking of here are ones we experience as adults, we’re exposed to them as children when we come across bullies. No matter when we encounter them, I have to tell you that these relationships can be very dangerous and, depending on a person’s own inherent strength and vitality, can lead to serious problems on many levels. 

I’ve found that when we come into relation with someone, especially on a romantic level, that our “radio stations” seem to come into closer frequency. Think of yourself as being at 91.5 on the radio dial, and the other person being at 99.1 - when you come into relation, you’ll move up and down the dial respectively, closer to one another. When you come into relation with an Energy Vampire, it seems that your frequency moves closer to that person’s, and yet theirs doesn’t really move at all.

When you come into relation with someone, ties and “cords” develop. Often these cords are a natural byproduct of that relationship. In the example of parent and child, these cords exist on an etheric level until the child reaches adulthood, or thereabouts. In a healthy, non-dependent relationship, there’s no energetic loss or discrepancy. There seems to be a healthy give-and-take between energy bodies, and this is the ideal scenario.

When we come into relation with an Energy Vampire, there’s an imbalance in those energetic exchanges. In my mind’s eye, what I’ve seen is the existence of cords between the Energy Vampire and their prey. Remember, while these relationships seem to develop more on romantic levels, they can certainly happen in platonic or professional relationships. When Predator meets Prey, these cords seem to connect from sacral chakra to sacral chakra.

For those unfamiliar with what our sacral chakra is, it’s the energy center that sits about two inches below our belly button. This “wheel” or energy center is responsible for your emotional well-being, your creativity, sexuality, and self-expression. When this energy center becomes blocked or corrupted - or tapped into - it can lead to poor self-image, depression, anxiety, lack of vigor...or worse. This is also where our “chi” comes from, the energy of life itself.

When we come into relation with an Energy Vampire, imagine a cord, much like an umbilical cord, from sacral chakra to sacral chakra. Every time the Energy Vampire incites in you that negative emotional reaction, you lose a bit of your chi. Just like exchanges of all types, this can either be a significant loss or it can be a loss that happens over time, tiny bit by tiny bit. 

These energy centers are responsible for the overall health of the physical body, and I’ve found over thousands of readings and sensing this in thousands of people, that this energy center can become taxed. Please remember that I’m not a medical provider, nor can I offer medical advice. For all of that, what I’ve sensed in people is a threshold; when this energy center becomes taxed, when that energy center can’t help manage and heal as it needs to, it can lead to physical ailments specific to the abdomen, or the body part that it’s “responsible” for. We’ve all heard that stress is the “Great Killer,” and there may be more to this than people may realize. The ties between our emotional and physical health are significant. 

When we suffer an energetic discrepancy that’s strong enough, it can lead to physical manifestations of that discrepancy. I often see this happening as cysts on ovaries, urinary tract infections, irritable bowel syndrome. I’ve seen many cases where people have unexplainable indigestion or abdominal problems that their medical providers just can’t explain. There’s nothing specifically wrong with these people, yet they suffer in this area and no doctor can explain why. These thresholds, just like every other kind of ailment, are different for all people. It seems some people can withstand these types of relationships and be fine, generally speaking, while some people are really sensitive to these energetic exchanges.

Please remember that there are plenty of physical abdominal problems that stem from valid, physical causes, and have nothing to do with energetic discrepancies. Yet, energetic discrepancies are responsible for a great many of them. The difference in the way some people suffer more than others is also connected to their capacity for empathy.

And no, I’m not using the word “empathy” with a capital “E.” I don’t really buy into the New Age concept of people claiming to be an Empath. I find that most often when this happens, a self-proclaimed “Empath” is someone who just has really poor boundaries, and they use this title as a way to displace personal responsibility. This may seem harsh, but it is indeed my experience. All humans are empathetic - if they’re not, they’re sociopaths. Empathy seems to be a human trait just like athleticism, artistic ability, etc: it’s simply a matter of degree, a matter of some people having it more than others. Some people can stand in a room with heightened and angry people and not be bothered, and some people will suffer greatly. Significantly empathetic people seem to be really tasty meals for Energy Vampires.

Empathy, from a safe and sensible standpoint, is all about observing and not absorbing.

What I’ve discovered is that these Energy Vampires (often men) have a sort of “octopus” sitting on their shoulders, and each of the tentacles are cords that are inserted in different people. An Energy Vampire, it seems, happens because of really awful childhood experiences, where they weren’t loved, they weren’t fed, or both. They can often stem from traumatic experiences.

You know how, in Hollywood vampire movies, when a vampire bites someone that person turns into a vampire? It’s a very similar circumstance with Energy Vampires. And just like classic vampires, these Energy Vampires don’t seem to be satisfied with just one person - each tentacle that stems from this nasty octopus on their shoulders seems to be inserted in many different people. This is why a male Energy Vampire will have girlfriends, sisters, co-workers, even men that they drain.

Interestingly, none of this seems to happen on a conscious level. Our energetic body will respond to its environment and external stimuli just like our physical bodies will. When we walk into a cold temperature, our bodies compensate. The same is said for Energy Vampires; they’re seeking energy from others because some sort of trauma or negative experience has, best as I can tell, shut them off from the normal source of energy around them. There’s also the fact that some people just like this type of energy, just as a person can like a certain type of food over another.

The effects an Energy Vampire can have on us is far more extensive than we realize and can go far beyond that of just physical manifestations. Energy Vampires seem to have the ability to affect a person’s ability to think at times, as well as their ability to remain objective. I have found many similarities between Energy Vampires and that of addiction. Most of us in this world have suffered from the ravages of addiction, whether that addiction is in ourselves or in the people around us.

When we come into relation with an Energy Vampire, that “radio station” is changed. Just like a drug or a drink of alcohol holds the potential to affect our consciousness and the way we think, so will an Energy Vampire. Imagine how people around you (or perhaps, even yourself) can look at a bottle of alcohol, drugs, etc., and say to themselves “I know it’s bad news for me...but I just can’t help myself.”

Now apply that to an unhealthy relationship with an Energy Vampire. When we are affected by someone else’s energetic wavelength, our consciousness itself can be affected. That’s why we can be in relation with an Energy Vampire, know that they’re not good for us at all...and yet, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves. 

Interestingly, there’s a correlation here with the classic story of Dracula. In the story of Dracula, there are victims of this vampire that become enthralled. They become like zombies once bitten by Count Dracula, constantly drawn towards him, losing all sense of self. This is such a great analogy for this type of relationship. I offer this example of both Dracula and addiction so people can understand, should they ever find themselves in this type of relationship, that they may not entirely be thinking clearly. 

I know we’ve all seen relationships around us - and some of us, including myself - where people are “addicted” to their Energy Vampires. Just like a relationship with drugs or alcohol, we’ve all seen these “addicts” say to themselves, sometimes too many times, that “it’ll be different this time.” “I’ll be stronger this time.” “This time, it will be different.”

And we know how this usually ends up.

I don’t want to come across as a pessimist. I know that people can sometimes change, people can come to a place of emotional intelligence and these types of behaviors can fade from a person. For all of that, I do not offer judgement or condemnation to those who may actually be Energy Vampires; if anything, I would judge the society and culture that would raise people to be like this. We could talk for hours on how emotional intelligence isn’t something that’s encouraged in people as they grow older, especially men.

Yet, it’s not as hopeless as some may think it is. I would like to offer up ways to help with these relationships, as I recognize that it may not entirely be possible for people to untangle themselves from Energy Vampires.

First, I would have people take an honest and objective look at any of the relationships they maintain. These could be romantic, platonic, professional, or relationships of any kind really. I have a really useful tool (given to me by Spirit) that helps people do just that, to take an honest look at any relationship of which they may be a part.

Imagine for a moment that someone you love (be it a child, a sibling, a parent, a friend) is in a relationship that you’re in, that this person works for your boss, has your husband, has your best friend. Ask yourself: would you be happy for this person? If the answer is yes, that’s wonderful! Cherish that relationship and honor it all of your days. If the answer is no, you must calibrate. I use the word “calibrate” as a way to say that you should adjust, not necessarily sever or end the relationship, though that may be an option you should consider.

If you are in a relationship with an Energy Vampire and there’s no way to leave it, you should certainly take care of that energetic center that is your sacral chakra. It’s known that vibrating or chanting the sound “vam” (rhymes with “mom”) helps to stimulate that chakra, and there are several other options to help you with this as well. These include anything that stimulates your abdomen, including sex, exercise, dancing, singing, and laughing (the best medicine!) 

When it’s necessary to end your relationship with an Energy Vampire, there are situations of which you should be careful. Consider that the Energy Vampire may be as “addicted” to you as you have been to them. I have seen situations where people have successfully cut these “cords” and this causes the Energy Vampire in question to immediately get in touch with that person. Their aim is to cause in you an emotional reaction so they can reinsert that cord into you (and yes, I apologize for such visceral imagery, but it’s an accurate portrayal of what I sense and experience.)

I’ve found these energetic relationships to be some of the most damaging a person can endure. These “cords” can remain attached to people after years of not speaking to one another. They can exist over thousands of miles. In extreme cases, they can even survive death. This is why everyone should be as honest and candid as they can be about relationships they’re in, and again, not just the romantic ones. One of the signs of existing cords is dreaming about abusive people you haven’t seen or thought of for a long time, and for no good reason. And once you’ve successfully separated yourself from an Energy Vampire, there’s really only one sure-fire way to make sure they don’t get their “hooks” into you again. The solution lies in the answer to this question:

What’s the opposite of love?

Most folks answer that question quickly, and on the surface, logically. Most people answer with “hate.” In fact, that’s not the opposite of love. The opposite of love is actually the opposite of hate also!

It’s indifference.

To survive an Energy Vampire, you must cultivate indifference. You must do your absolute best to feel nothing. I admit that this is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever accomplish, but if you can, you’ll be free. You’ll have cut the Vampire off from its source of food.

And finally, a very useful practice you can easily do to help cut yourself off from these Vampires is as follows. Lay somewhere flat, preferably your bed, and raise your hands above you, so they’re perpendicular to your body. Once you’ve raised your arms, imagine that between your hands is a golden or white shield made out of light, similar in shape to a belly plate you would see on a suit of armor. Slowly and with intention, lower it to your stomach. As you do so, imagine all unhealthy attachments and cords are disappearing, and all that’s left is healing energy that helps sustain your sacral chakra, and thereby you. This is a very simple practice that you can do as often as you need, and as often as you need until you sense these attachments dissipate.

I hope this helps whoever needs this. Please remember that what I share here is a culmination of thousands of clients, where many of them have these very textbook-like circumstances. If any of what I’ve shared here rings true to you, please do your best to cultivate that indifference, to maintain distance from those who would drain you dry.

You’ll be all the better for it.